your_new_cuckoo: (pride)
[personal profile] your_new_cuckoo
Hey guys! Evidently I am a gang member. According to this delightful website, I am part of "a sinister force working around the clock to destroy the bond between woman and her man".

Thankfully they outline the characteristics of the evil lesbian:

boys haircut
close cropped pearl earrings sometimes only one
boys collared shirts sometimes with boys tie
masculine sleeveless vest
boys suit coat
mens construction shoes
ghostly drab facial expression and color because of no makeup

The lesbian code prohibits any enhances which may attract a heterosexual man.

Even more useful tips are offered to protect you from selecting a lesbian doctor.

If a womyn doctor is forced upon you, don't be ashamed; ask questions; get a biography on her; find out if she has ever been a political activist.
If you find some means of recognition too difficult, the sure giveaway is to check if the doctor ever took a "womyn study course," and if so, then you better scat as fast and far as you can. Or, if all else fails, ask her if she would mind taking a lie-detector test. Never the less, above and beyond all else, never, ever, be shamed, intimidated, or threatened from asking for a biography check. Or, better yet, to avoid all the hassle, just demand a man doctor. That's what I do.

And then there is the useful guide to the various handicaps suffered by lesbians:


Exclusively heterosexual women can, in mid-life, develop lesbian feelings and behavior. This is a well known clinical feature of lesbianism. It often occurs during marriage or after marriage break-up, with no clinically observable hint of prior existence - not even lesbian fantasies.

78% of lesbians value highly "Dildos"

Lesbians are 19 times more likely than heterosexual women to have syphilis, twice as likely to suffer from genital warts and 4 times as likely to have scabies. A lesbian is 3 times more likely to get breast cancer than a heterosexual woman.

Though I would hope most people aren't this insane, and I'm mostly sure that's the case, it's still disheartening to know that at least one guy (along with his many published sources) do feel this way.
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