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I'm watching the memorial service at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City. I have never been a big church goer, but when I do go, I always leave feeling calm and meditative. I love the Catholic Mass. I love that it never changes. Always the same prayers and responses. And I love how silent the church is, even as people are coming in before mass starts, and as they leave.

I love that I was raised Catholic and got the chance to go to Catholic school for a few years. I haven't been confirmed yet, though. I chose not to be. I didn't (and still don't) feel like my faith is strong enough. I believe that there is a higher power, but sometimes I feel like I believe it because it's what I have always been told. And sometimes I feel like I believe because I just couldn't stand to think there isn't a bigger point to everything. I'd like to think at the end there might be some answers.

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your_new_cuckoo

April 2009

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